hey I still exist

Today is December 23rd -- one day away from Christmas Eve and two days from Christmas. I am listening to mid-2000 Filipino rock songs as I am writing this. As always, I am missing people. Like most times, I am sad and lonely. It's strange though. I do not want to jinx it, but things don't suck that much. I mean. Lots of problems here and there but in general I am still able to breathe. Which is good.

No time to be poetic and shit because it's 1am and I still have to go to work tomorrow morning. Also I am 99.9% sure it's just going to be me who will read this post anyway. So, yeah. Here's what happened to my life during the past weeks, in vague bullets:

• I got myself an Instax camera and it is the best impulse purchase I have ever made
• missing people I shouldn't miss
• for weeks now I have been meaning to send a message to someone who hurt me badly because I want to apologize and I really want to know her side why she did what she did and again try to let go of the bad blood between us, but I do not know if it is worth trying
• p: "kumusta ka?" me: "tired."
• I still do not know what will happen to me come next year
• this is hard to accept but hard work ≠ success
• grateful for friends who have been good to me this year
• Bakit Part 2 - Mayonnaise / Nobela - Join the Club / Tensionado - Soapdish
• c. is still very cute but I have already resigned myself to the fact that he's just someone whose face makes me smile :)))
• d. keeps on breaking my heart huhuhuhu but ok it's not like he knows also it's not like he promised anything
• i vs. i stage is strong as ever
• I want a telescope so much. Maybe that should be my next big purchase.