ah, well.

warning: i can't words right now.

last year i turned on autocorrect on my iPad. for a year i kept typing and retyping every time the dictionary "corrects" my words. i may use english almost exclusively when posting tweets and blogs but i still use tagalog in conversations. so imagine how annoying it was when i had to retype words at least three times. it happened too frequently but i never turned autocorrect off and just constantly complained "dammit autocorrect." until last sunday. i turned off autocorrect and. no more retyping. i just. it's. how i typed and typed the same word and got autocorrected. for a year. and how it took me a year to decide to just turn the damn autocorrect off. how doing that felt like defeat, somehow. but i know it's not really defeat because english and tagalog words are different and the dictionary can only recognize english words. how i refused to do something for a principle that meant nothing.

i'm so unsure of everything. especially with work shit. i'm scared.

how i've said "i am done" too many times and yet

how i still. want things back. even though i know things will never come back. people will not come back.