haven’t written anything in a long time
though i don’t actually write? i just type words that seem to make sense to me?
things rarely make sense nowadays
too tired / too confused / unable to find the words to explain what’s going on
haven’t written anything in a long time
things i always say:
i don’t know / dunno / eh / please / putang ina / tangina / shit / fuck / sigh / hay / ugh
at a very brief point i said i love you lots of times, too
things i always feel:
constant tiredness / how some people have it so easy / fear / loneliness / jealousy / wanting to give love but do not have anyone / anxiety / not being enough / fillers / being afraid of being left behind / hunger for experience / craving people’s touches (fuck i love physical things idrk????? fuck. just remembering ~things~ makes me feel kind of alive but sad because they are in the past and i always miss things that make me feel alive) (also lol i all those things feel like sin, and they’re not even that… much) / literal hunger / over satiation then that shitty food coma feeling / regret / want
things i want to say:
please don’t leave me / please stay / why don’t you love me like i love you? / i miss you / i miss us / fuck you and your fake words / i know you’re just as confused as i am / thank you for not leaving despite me being me
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