free writing 12/14/13

I am hiding. Wait. I am not? I am. Math fuck math I don't know how to math. I am 99.99% sure a question similar to "find the area of the shaded region" will turn up and fucking fuckety fuck the last time I had a math class was in 2008? Or 2009? I can't even perform basic operations on decimals oh my god. MONDAY. QWT. THE LAST STEP. OH MY GOD. IDK. Also oh my god how about PGT because staffing shizz and I kind of like being in charge? But I know I'm not really in charge. I'm just one of their pawns. I want to stay because wow all those things I did I do not want to let them go. But if I will have the chance I promised myself I will leave that godforsaken place. It's not good for me. I give and give and give and give and they take take take take. I don't get credit for stuff I do because I do stuff for other people. My job exists because the people who ought to /work/ are too busy or too lazy or too incompetent. I HOPE I WILL DO OK ON MONDAY. Yes I needed to type that in all caps. My throat hurts. My muscles hurt. I have colds. Also I have craaamps ugh period pains. Physically I don't feel okay. Emotionally- um. I am slightly all right? But I feel lonely and ignored and not missed. Almost all of the texts I received today are about work shit and sigh work work work. And also I got one from a person who never texts me unless she needs something. iTunes is blasting Brand New songs right now. Sometimes I feel the music, sometimes I can't be bothered. // I want to be hugged and I want someone to hold my hand god I just want someone's presence and attention. Well, from someone I like. I am getting feels from reading Love is the Higher Law by David Levithan. I should go to sleep?