and

I WANT TO CRY BUT I DONT WANT TO CRY I NEED TO CRY
I WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE BUT I ALSO WANT TO BE COMFORTED BUT I WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE

I SHOULD NEVER GET USED TO GOOD FEELINGS THEY NEVER LAST

I SHOULD NEVER GET USED TO PEOPLE THEY ALWAYS LEAVE
i try my best to be always here for people but when i need people wheRE ARE THEY

that realization that i should be okay with being alone because every person that comes into my life will be gone sooner or later

i will never be enough
i can never make people stay

some of the things people asked me today: if i am asking to be raped because i like wearing short skirts / if i self-harm / "seryoso ka, gusto mong masaktan?" / why i wasn't thinking for myself / "ano ba ang nangyayari sa buhay mo ngayon parang hindi na healthy"

i want to resonate i want my presence to be felt even when i am gone (too bad, diane, too bad)