Friendships.

When I was in high school I was friends with our class bullies and I laughed at their jokes targeted to our "weak" classmates. I sometimes made jokes at the expense of someone else. When I know that someone feels sad I will just keep quiet and silently hope that he/she will feel better soon. When I was in college I had this friend who was a cutter and I did nothing to help her and I even thought that she's an attention seeker and boy crazy because she tends to cut when she and her boyfriend are fighting again. I tend to leave social groups for another social group without explanation. When my sister was growing up I kept teasing her for being fat and called her a lot of names and I never showed any affection. I keep things to myself a lot of times and I will probably not tell you that you've hurt me if you did. Sometimes I can't keep my own damn mouth shut. When someone told me she wants to kill herself I kept quiet and just sat there with her. I tend to not reply to letters/emails/messages.

See, I'm not the best kind of friend.

But I will help you as much as I can. I will stay up late just to talk to you if we're close. I will definitely rush to a friend's house at 2AM if he/she needs me (never did that though but I would, really). I will never call you out for being ugly or poor and I will never humiliate you. I will tell you my life story if you ask nicely. I trust people easily. I tend to forgive people easily too. I will not force you to do anything you don't believe in. I will gladly share my food. I will let you borrow money if I have extra lying around. You can lean on me, literally and figuratively (I may or may not say anything during the aforementioned leaning-on-to-friend time). I hope for the best for everyone.

I'm not the worst kind of friend either.


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I don't know where this post is going. I... okay, I know. Read between the lines.