I. vs. I stage, please bear with me.

in which I write about that one thing that has been bothering me since, well, forever.
(and no one reads these things anyway so I'm good)


Romance.

The following thoughts were elicited by this submission from BlogSecret:

I’m 22, and I’ve never had sex (of any kind). I’ve never been kissed, have never had anybody ever be attracted to me in a romantic/sexual way. I feel like an outsider, not included in a special club that includes 99.9999999999999999999999999999999999% of the human race. And God, it’s just fucking depressing. I’m starting to accept that I’ll never be anybody’s sweetheart, that I’ll never get married or have sex. And some days, I’m okay with it … but some days, it makes me extraordinarily sad and lonely, knowing I’ll be outside of this club for the rest of my life.

source

See.
Every. Single. Thing. Is. True. And. Relevant.

Today is one of those "extraordinarily sad and lonely" days. And trust me, these aren't just my hormones fucking up my emotions. There's that hollow part of me that always wonders, one that tells me that there is something missing. I know I've blogged about how we should not rely on anyone to feel complete and shizz here but... well. I'm a stupid hypocrite and I just-- ugh I just want to feel wanted and loved okay.

I really, really, really want to know what it feels like to have that someone. I'm tired of reading about romance in books, watching couples go lovey-dovey and happy in TV and movies, wishing that song was written for me or even simply played for me. Apart from being busy with Tumblr (hah, when am I not?) and work, one of the reasons why I haven't read a book in a while is because reading about love and couples and happy endings just make me feel sorry for myself because no one likes me that way, no one ever did.

Will this ever change?