It's May. It's been five months since structure has been in my life. Structure as in something I do that defines me, some stable thing that I deal with on a regular basis. I felt this huge loss because all my life I've been a student, then for a brief time I was an employee.
My life is a mess since I don't have something to hold on to. No classes to attend, no exams to worry about. No job. No support from family as they're all nagging me about my lack of employment. Friends don't get it because I don't say anything.
I have no reason to get up in the morning. My days consist of sleeping, eating, and spending hours in front of the computer. Unsurprisingly, I feel depressed and anxious about my life. What is my purpose? Why am I here? Why am I just wasting my life away? Why can't I do anything? I ask these questions to myself almost every night.
I don't know what lies ahead and I really don't want to know, but it would be nice if there is an end to this stupid routine of doing nothing.
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