January wasn't as good to me as I hoped it would and I had been in an almost exclusively shitty mood the entire month. Things did not go as I planned, Murphy's Law is true: things really will go wrong and I was not prepared at all. I am unemployed, I missed the deadline for UPCED's application for graduate admission, and I still don't know what want to do for the rest of my life despite my "epiphanies" last year. In short, things were just not working for me.
I am "coping" through wallowing in self-pity and self-loathing. I keep missing my meals and my sleeping pattern is so fucked up (5am bedtime and I'll wake up around 12-1pm -- ugh I NEVER experience mornings now). It's really unhealthy and all these crap are causing my depressive tendencies to show, not that they have been hiding. I know I should pick myself up and do better things like eat and sleep and look for a new job, but I am too stupid to change things (i.e. my perspective).
So, February. Hello there. New month, new beginnings, new chances, and all that shizz.
I am expecting a lot from you.
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