Last night's realizations

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1. There wasn't something. I've been imagining it all along.
2. Choose one:
   (a) my "all is well and I'm not hurting" mask is working
   (b) they see the struggles but don't talk about it
   (c) they notice and they're talking about me behind my back
   
   A, most likely.
3. I don't want to be a cat lady when I get older or any person close to that.
4. I could not understand what the fck is going on with me and why I feel this way.
5. Emptiness. Immense emptiness.