I just learned about this song today

quote: This Is Your Life by Switchfoot

And right now, I am not who I want to be. I don't even know who I want to be, I just go with the flow and follow wherever the tide takes me. However, this place that the tide has taken me is... let's just say that it's not a pretty one. Today, I did a lot of things that I now regret.

• I should not have told a friend about my attitude towards stuff because I think that she is going to judge me for not having a conventional (in this setting) philosophy. Stuff include: religion, premarital sex, partying, the way people dress, curfew, among others. Basically, I was all, "oh just let everyone be, let people be happy as long as they're not hurting anyone..."which was okay, but then I added the part where I said I didn't like going to church anymore and that I hated our parish priest. WHY DID I TELL HER THAT MY GOODNESS WE'RE NOT that CLOSE WHAT THE FCK IS WRONG WITH ME?
• Telling another friend that I don't like praisey, worshippy songs. Because that statement is not entirely true. I like some gospel songs. Some. Especially the ones I grew up with and JJ Heller's music.
• Promising something then not fulfilling it.

I know, I need to stop thinking about what others think. I don't, somehow. But I care what others think if those "others" mean to me. Plus, these thoughts are nagging me and I can't ignore them. It just would really be great if I know people think of me in a positive way, though it seems that my recent actions would likely make them think otherwise. I am so stupid. Entirely too stupid.

I should just use my brain and shut my big mouth, eh? Any opinion, thought, etc shall be heavily filtered from now on and let's just say that I may or may not be blogging here often again.